"How do you do, Miss West? Mae West: How do you do what?"
"It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week."
"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
"They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood."
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on."
"Where's your will to be weird?"
"You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time."
"The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!"
"I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. "